Shakin off those trust issues

Hello. So the past week has just been an infinite spiral of every human emotion that I don’t even know where to begin…but! for the sake of sharing my not so glamorous experience to you, my dear friends, and if it would somehow make you feel any less alone on this heck of a journey, I will try…really hard…to get my brain tissues together. (Hahahaha what? okay.)

I saw how an 18 yr old Princess Manuel would react on a denied request…and that was a one ugly reaction if I must say. I quickly dissolved into a spume feeling entitled to a pity party; indifferently giving in to my human emotions rather than to accept what has been decided and trust unto the Director the rest- the Almighty One who knows how and where the story will go.

Why is it so hard for you to trust Him? Why do you keep living as if you’re on your own?

On the same day of this spectacular event that I feel the need to go to but obviously can’t, I was informed by a classmate that we are going to have a remedial exam on this certain subject. And coincidentally, its scheduled time is the same as the call time for this spectacular event that I feel the need to go to but obviously can’t. Aaaaaaand that was it. I thought, If I had insisted on going, then I don’t know…I can only imagine myself going nuts on the road…or worst: a flunk subject.

I know a father is more than pained when he says “No” to his child especially when He sees how much his child wanted this thing, but there are times that He really have to say No to protect or reserve the child even if it means hitting the pain bone(i just invented a new term, didnt i?). And I think that’s the same with God.

And as the ever stubborn and “What about me! What about me!” child, I tried to run away from that. My human emotions has been pained so deep (or so I thought) that I chose to disregard what the gospel has been saying, what the truth has been proclaiming and what my Savior has promised, “It hurts, but I am all you need. I am sufficient and I am God. Trust me.“… And I think that is when it gets dangerous. You’re like crossing on this threadlike rope 6ft above death. Don’t. Ever. Get. To. That. Point.

“It may be hard to pull out the roots (of our bad habits/attitude), but we must stay awake to keep them cut.”

I know this is what God has been teaching me the past week because (I know this might sound crazy to the secular world but for Christians this is no mere incident or playing fate) I’ve been constantly stumbling upon passages about trust and old becoming new and making marvelous out of the ruins and rewards are to come to those who trust Him and just a whole lot more of trusting God. I believe I still am in the midst of this battle. And this experience have had happened perhaps to awake me; to remind me that God is always in control of the things in my life; to trust Him E V E N M O R E, A L L O U T. Soak into His words- His promises. I know it’s hard to believe what you have not seen but that’s what trust and faith is about, right? No need to be fancy. All we need  is the faith of a mustard seed and it will grow into an eternity of sitting on the lap of the One who has the grandest blueprints of our lives.

All of these things don’t come naturally. You have to choose to see. Yearn to see the good reason behind God’s No. It’s not sugar-coating when somebody tells you “everything happens for a reason” because there really is. And for a God who unselfishly gave His only Son to redeem the world He first loved, I don’t think there’s even a small possibility for Him to withhold every beautiful and wonderful and better things from us.

And that kids is what I learned this week. God is sovereign and He knows exactly what’s best for you- when to give it and how to get you to it- so you might as well just trust Him. Stop whining like I somewhat did Hahahaha. Okaaaay. Have an awesome week ahead! And don’t forget to be the hope and courage and truth and love God calls us to be!!


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