I can certainly feel the breeze of the Christmas season gently brushing up in my skin. Dancing lights, Christmas carols, Christmas-themed wrappers, and pretty wacked-out Christmas costumes are everywhere. And today starts the 3 day countdown before Christmas day and not far from my 5-yr old self, I still feel so thrilled. As much as a several good people are uncomfortable with family gatherings, I, myself, am very fond of it. What can I say, I love to embrace my social awkwardness. Moreover, how will you get your handful of gifts when you ain’t gonna show up to your granny? Hahahaha, im kidding. I guess Christmas wouldn’t be complete without gifts and although gift giving are everything during Christmas, I pretty much suck at it. Well, it’s not that I don’t have enough money (lol, let’s be honest, i dont really have that much money) to buy really good goodies for my friends I just don’t know exactly what I want to give them. It is as if Christmas is reminding me of how little I know of what are my friends’ likes and dislikes.
Okay let’s get down to it!! two main reasons why I suck at gift giving: 1. I don’t know what to give them. 2. I end up liking what I bought for them. (Yes really, no.2 once happened before.)
Last week after my last class at 12nn, I hurried to the mall to get my friend a gift. So there I was in the middle of the sea of people, clueless what thingy majigy I should get, and lost from which store to search first. I looked in and out of every store at the mall – literally throughout the mall. What most people probably don’t know about me is that I’m sort of a perfectionist. Hence, the hard time looking for that “perfect” gift. Thankful, after an hour or two – which felt like forever – I’ve found a sling bag that satisfied my taste (and I hope he will like it, too.). I felt so relieved that I won’t be leaving the mall empty handed and not be upset of how bad of a friend I am. I dragged myself to a fastfood chain, treat myself for being cool, sat down, put out my journal and started writing what happened that day. And as I was writing down my rants (lol, most likely.), something hit me. I had a tough time figuring out what to give him not because I can’t find the right gift, but because I don’t know what to give him. I don’t know what he likes, what will make him jump in air once he tear up the wrappers, what his heart screams out for… I don’t know. I only took the risk of getting him what I think he’d like. And at that moment, I realized how blessed I am. How blessed I am to have a God who knows the desires of my heart, a God who doesn’t take an hour or two for Him to figure out what I want, a God who doesn’t have to search in and out of every store to finally utter the words, “I’ve found what I want for my child!”, a God who takes no second to miss what my heart has been screaming for years. Anyone can say, “If you want something, just say the word.” but my God isn’t just anybody. He knows the deepest corners of my heart even before I utter them. And that gives me hope. The hope that the God who owns everything – the skies, the earth and everything in between and beyond – knows the desires of my heart and at the same time is well pleased to give them. Although frail and broken, the King of all Kings is after my heart. And so am I to His. It is my honor to serve You and my joy to know more of You, my God. And forever my heart will sing this joy of praises to You. Let His name be glorified not only this Christmas season but on the days to come…and forever! This is our God.