Take time to reflect

Malakas ako. Kaya ko nang wala Siya. Tatagal ako nang mag-isa kahit ako lang. Magaling kaya ako! Okay lang lahat kahit wala Siya, wala naman kasing pinagkaiba nung nandyan Siya tas nung nawala na Siya. Tuloy lang ang buhay.

Pero lahat nang yun, akala ko lang. Kumbaga sa eskwela, nung naghighest ka sa Chemistry or Math quiz e pakiramdam mo ikaw na ang pinakamatalinong tao sa klase mo, ‘yun pala e naduling lang yung guro mo at ibang pangalan ang nabanggit, di pala sayo yun. (Hehe) Ganyan kasi tayong mga tao, masyadong bilib sa sarili. Once na may mapatunayan, nakakalimutan na yung (mga) taong naglagay sa kanya sa pwesto na ‘yun. Masyadong mapride at dahil nga bilib sa sariling kakayanan e akala niya hindi na niya kailangan ng tulong nang iba. Wala na tayong magagawa, part na yan ng human nature. Tanggapin mo na lang. Tao ka, ganyan ka.

071113. 9pm.

My typical night, watch tv shows, eat, study, sleep. It was around 9 in the evening, I was fixing my things and kind-of-doing-my-homeworks. From my room I could here the television and it was on a music channel. Then, a familiar song came on, a few minutes after until it hit me that it was Kamikazee’s Alay that is playing. I don’t know what happened to me after the song ended.

“Ngunit sa kabila ng lahat

Ika’y aking nakakalimutan

At sa oras ng kahinaan di ka nangiiwan”

“Ito ay alay ko Sa’yo, panalangin ng

isang hamak na katulad ko. Ito ay alay ko

Sa’yo,  ganap na pagsuko sa piling mo.”

These lines from the song kept on playing in my head for long minutes. Then I remembered the story behind the song. I suddenly had irrational emotions. I feel like everything is pulling me down. I know I have to let this all out or else I will be torn to pieces anytime so I went back to my room and there, I burst out crying. Nung mga oras na ‘yun, dun ko naramdaman lahat nang sakit na tinago ko sa Kanya. Lahat nang bigat, doon ko nakita na I’m already torn in pieces inside. Sobrang tagal na rin nung huling lapit ko sa Kanya ng masinsinan. At nung mga oras na ‘yun, narealize ko na matagal na pala Niya pala akong hinihintay na lumapit sa Kanya. Na ako nalang pala ang hinihintay Niya para matulungan Niya ako. Hindi naman kasi mahalaga sa Kanya yung mga nagawa mong kasalanan. Hindi na Niya tinitignan yun, ang gusto lang Niya ay lumapit ka sa Kanya, humingi ka ng tawad o tulong at hayaan mo Siyang maging Panginoon mo. Nagmagaling kasi ako eh, akala ko ayos lang na walang tulong Niya. Oo, ayos lang yung physical state ko, pero yung spiritual ko, nabubulok na. Sobrang tagal ko Siyang kinausap at masasabi kong sobrang sarap sa pakiramdam. I have felt the love that no man on this world could give. True, everyone could give you the love you deserve but for how long? in what extent? While there’s God whom we often ignore yet He is still always there unconditionally loving us.

Pagkatapos nung oras na ‘yun, sobrang gaan ng pakiramdam ko. At ang nakakatuwa pa lalo sa nangyari, hindi lang pala ako ang kinalabit Niya 🙂 Sobrang nakakatuwa na malaman na hindi lang ako yung bumalik sa Kanya. Kinabukasan ng araw na ‘yon, sobrang gaan ng loob ko. Sobrang linis ng pakiramdam ko, ang sarap magmahal lalo ng kapwa. Right now, aside from a clean heart, He is showering me with blessings as my reward. Sobrang sarap ng pakiramdam nang nabubuhay ng para kay Lord. Alam ko naramdaman mo na rin ‘to or if not, I know someday in God’s right time, you will experience something special and miraculous more than this. Something that will lead you to the right way, the truth and the life.

“Come to me, all you who are weary & burdened, & I will give you rest. -Matt 11:28”

For anyone who’s interested to listen to the song, below is the youtube link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abbVGOM9PWU

The intention of this blog is for you to know that

there is REALLY a God who will help you in your downs.

 Someone who truly cares for you and loves you more than anything.

Someone who will never give up on you.

His love never fails.

Jesus never fails.

For questions or any reactions and suggestions, you could comment them below or message me.

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